electric

I went to Coachella on a whim on Saturday. Kinlee and I snuck in and to say the least, it was amazing. I haven't felt that happy in a long long time..well since last summer( and I am very happy now, that was just another level). I just felt so free and electric. Good Good times.

AND to make things better, I committed to Denison University today, which i am SO SO excited about. Its always been the place I wanted to go (it just feels right), I was just unsure if I should commit yet and look into the other schools I got into BUT my gut said and says Denison. AND i follow my gut a lot of the time. So I am Ohio bound in August. Well anyway, I had a good weekend. Went for a bike ride today and re-organized my room and closet like I do every Sunday. All in all, alot of things were put into perspective for me this past week and weekend and I had a lot of good bonding time with people. I also realized today how thankful I am for my mom, I love her, as well as my Dad..and his endless jokes, Maddie (who went on a date tonight) and Clayton. I have also been thinking alot lately about the people who have come in and out of my life(either from camp etc. or just a falling out HAH) and its so bittersweet. Some people have really left a mark and it makes me sad because I miss them and our memories but I am trying to embrace them and enjoy all the good friends I have in my life at the moment. I also got in this deep convo. with kinlee and well: the world is so vast. There is so much to see and experience, its endless. It bothers me that people get so caught up in the small things, which is okay every once in a while, as long as you know that there is more out there. Which there is. Good and Bad. I want to experience it all and make a change. Well that is all and GOOD NIGHT.

the marrow of life

Nature is the best escape.

Through good and bad, I go to nature. The stars are my healing, I love to lay out under the stars in my backyard. My mind just wanders and everything that I can't face or put aside is brought back to me. Sometimes I am under the stars for fifteen minutes and sometimes for an hour, but I know I am ready to stand up, when I am healed and am at peace, if only temporary. I can't communicate with my best friend anymore but, when I look at the stars I feel like we are oddly connecting because that is how she healed as well and after she left, in a letter we decided we would both look to the stars for guidance. Thinking about it, I also think I love laying under the stars because some of my fondest memories are late nights under the stars. Take a walk in nature. Lay under the stars.

a mark of expression.

Let me start by saying. Hello and welcome. I started this blog tonight because I felt inspired.

I feel so overwhelmed, I have so many feelings. Never have I felt this confused in my life. Its so weird, so much has changed, but yet hasn't. Its this weird thing. And that fact that summer is coming, that scares me. Tonight I was talking with some people and we were talking about happiness. Happiness is the single most important thing. It should guide us, in everything. I treasure my happy moments, a little to closely at times, yes, but I do. And as hard at it is, I need to step further away from those moment and live more for now. Living in the present is everything. My time here is short and I want to enjoy every day for what it is. And you know what, that is why days were created, so you can make the biggest mistake and restart the next day.

I guess I am just looking for who I really am, I am searching for what truly makes me happy.