i miss the stars

lost

I want to find my confidence again. I am still confident i know I am but its not as powerful as it used to be. I want it back. I want to be set in my ways again. I guess I want to be the girl that knows what she wants.
I really haven't wrote in so long, it feels so good. I haven't let myself write, I think I've been afraid of what I might write. I am a sophmore in college, I can't believe that. I don't know where time went, I think about that everyday. I love my life now, but theres a lot that I miss too. Its weird how life just goes...time flies. I want to feel fully again, I want myself. I need a release. I miss the people who ground me, the people I grew up with, that have known me all my life

I guess i don't want to grow up. I don't think i am ready, not a bit. I guess all I can do and need to work on is not dwelling on the past, on every bit of it, and then I can live more now and look to the future.
There is so much I love in life. So many people have come in and out, stayed with me; and affected me and I am so thankful for everyone. I know that, I know that I am lucky.

....I am going to lay and think....more to come tomorrow.